Tag: stand up

Numbers game

At this time of social uprising I haven’t been able to pin down a thought long enough to write about it. My voice simply doesn’t seem as important as those who finally have a platform to speak and get air time.

So I have focused my time on social media. As in life, those who are ignorant or negative tend to shout the loudest. Whereas those who are positive and inclusive often shy away from conflict or posting something that might incur the negatives out there. It takes effort to face the conflict of negative posts and hatred. It eats at you and tires you, so you either don’t post, don’t respond or turn off. I get it. I’ve done all three of those things.

If the oppressed and marginalised cannot hide, neither should I. I am not in a position to do much but I can play the numbers game on social media. I have been treating it like a workplace, staffroom, social gathering; if I hear something I don’t like, something degrading, demeaning, derogitary, sexist, racist, prejudice, I comment. It’s easy to skim past these comments but I feel that if they go unchecked, someone else will skim past them and think they’re acceptable.

Those who love peace must learn to organise as effectively as those who love war.

– Martin Luthor King Jr

I have used this quote before but it hits a note in me. There are several like it that I often refer to. It’s the great undoing of our society that those of us who care and don’t think twice about equality are not often in positions of ‘power’  or large scale ‘authority’. Recently we have seen people organise in protest all over the country and it fills me with hope. Are we witnessing a time when good people are starting to say ‘enough’s enough, stop the hatred!’ I truly hope so. As it has been said so many many times lately, it’s not enough to not-be-racist anymore, you must be anti-racist if there is a chance of change.  You have to be willing to say ‘no, that’s not ok’.

So while I have switched my attention to saying ‘no, that’s not ok’ to social media, as we return to work, remember to be anti-racist, anti-sexist and anti-hatred. Be ‘anti-‘ even if it means having an uncomfortable moment. Even if it eats at you a bit. That feeling is nothing comparted to what others endure. That’s the thought that stops me when I skim past that comment or turn off my phone. NO, THAT’S NOT OK!

Newton’s First Law of Motion

Newton’s first law of motion: an object in motion, will stay in motion unless acted on by another force. In other words, something in motion will only change its speed or direction, if something else causes it to do so.

I feel like the western world has been so caught up in financial recessions, terrorism, reality TV, and pantomime politics, all of which has been learnt about through social media, that they have forgotten to interact with one another with any rigour or power. We have forgotten how to talk about anything that’s really in front of us.

That’s where the flutter comes in, the churn in your stomach, the little voice that tells you to ‘just leave it’. I have felt that so many times over the last few months in my journey to not leave anything alone. But that’s where the change happens. Face to face, looking a person in the eye. I’m not facing down oppressors, the police or the government; I’m simply telling a friend or a colleague an alternative to the phrase they just used. If all it does is make them watch their words around me, I’ve changed someone’s motion and awareness of what is acceptable.

I saw a picture of a woman (on social media) who had squirted water on a man-spreader’s crotch. A brief glance at the comments showed some strong opinions on either side of the argument, but my only thought was ‘good, someone acting against something they care about’. I feel like we need to see more of this. There are protests and petitions galore at the moment but actual action is hard to come by. I am guilty myself, I claim that ‘life gets in the way’, but that’s the whole problem isn’t it.

So when I was reminded of Newton’s first law of motion, it made me think. It takes something bumping into us, physically or metaphorically, for us to change our motion. It takes someone you know speaking out, finding your own ceiling of bullshit or being personally affected to change your motion.

I feel like so many of us have fallen into a passive existence. An existence where we feel we can make a difference online, hiding away in social media, not interacting for fear of bumping into each other and having our motion changed. It’s like the world has recently woken up to the fact that we treat each other like shit. When we look up and around we realise that in our absence, no one has been making a difference.

So it seems that more and more people have been taking a stand over the last year or so. So many movements and slogans pushing us forward into potentially a better world. What true power do they have unless we reset our norms? What impact can they have if we get bored of hearing the same slogans 6 months later? If something’s worth saying, it’s worth saying until it’s heard.

Well sorry, not sorry to those who are sick of hearing it, the eye-rollers, because I’m going to keep repeating myself and standing up until I change enough people’s motions; until I see a world where equality reigns. 

Bellyache

“Don’t get sucked into the darkness,” I told my husband as if I had it all under control myself. This week We have both gotten into online arguments with the ignorant. It took a toll on my spirit and patience.

I tried to keep my arguments concise, specific and factful but that’s not how the other half argue is it! Who needs fact when you have fear-mongering and hatred!? Who needs to read and respond when you can spew whatever crap you heard some dangerous doctor in Canada spew? But the ignorant and dangerous aren’t the issue here.

I used to feel that these fearful people on social media shouldn’t be engaged with as they are antagonising for the sake of it so you can’t win. You can’t change the mind of someone who can find a problem for every solution.

But then I read a quote by Martin Luther King jr:
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hatred cannot drive out hatred, only love can do that”.

I take this to mean a great deal of things, one of which is how we chose to face opposition determines the outcome of the venture. If you chose to insult, berate and belittle you cannot drive out hate and change minds but if you always keep love first and foremost, then you stand a chance. This is all well a good until you’re faced with a moron telling you that there is no gender pay gap.

There must be people to provide light out there in the darkness of social media and who better than the generation who’s lives do not revolve around social media? Who better to be role models than those of us who know this is all virtual.
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Thank you pinterest for this image.

I think that those on the side of good are reluctant to feel how I have felt this week. And I don’t blame them. Managing work, motherhood and being a partner to my husband are all significantly harder with anger in your gut. But I might have changed someone else’s heart – not the person I was arguing with but someone else who read it. That makes a difference. It’s vague and reward-less but it’s some light in the dark.

I will learn to process and release this frustration that builds up into anger. But I must remember all of those who have been through a lot worse than belly ache and sleeplessness to make change happen. Michelle Obama believes that history shows that one spark of hope can spread quickly enough to make change happen. We have to organise ourselves better, so I urge you this week, to stand up against and argue with something wrong. It might make your gut twist but you might just change a heart.